During renovation works underneath Vauxhall Station in the arches formerly occupied by The Hoist, builders made a sensational discovery. When removing some 150 year old slabs, laid when the mainline into Waterloo was first built, 4 degree cold fizzy water bubbled up. Samples were sent to Imperial College where Prof Dr Veneralis from the chemistry department confirmed that the chemical composition of the water erupting from the spring was identical to that of prosecco. The geology department has begun an investigation to discover which layers of the clay below cause the transformation of London ground water into natural prosecco.
The Italian Prosecco Growers Association has already announced that they will fight any attempts to market this newly discovered Vauxhall spring as ‘Prosecco’, given that it is classified under EU Law as a Protected Designation of Origin. Italy’s ambassador H.E. Pasquale Q. Terracciano already stated that “Brexit or not, prosecco is made with real Glera grapes in the Veneto, not bottled from some hole in the ground in Central London”.
Philip Reicherstorfer, owner of London’s longest restaurant in a neighbouring arch, COUNTER Vauxhall, has meanwhile already plans for the spring: “Our Bottomless Bubbles Brunch is our most popular service every week. It is amazing how much our guests drink for only £28. So we are already working with Network Rail to build a pipeline to serve Vauxhall Sparkling to our guests. It is only a matter of weeks until we can serve it.”